Sports are multi-generational. My two teen-aged sons laugh at my music, clothes and just about anything else that defines my generation. However, we cheer the same sports teams.
My favorite memories from this fall were Sunday NFL football games. The whole day and evening revolved around the performance of the players on our fantasy football teams and the pathetic playoff run of the New York Giants. Yes, D.C. friends, I’ve abandoned the Football Team. Twenty years of Daniel Snyder’s leadership will do that to a person.
Game Day
Normally on Sundays, the boys would be in their rooms doing their thing. On football Sunday, we’d gather around the TV and watch the games while frantically updating our fantasy football Apps to track our players’ stats. NFL Game Day energized the apartment as highlights flashed onto the TV set. The visual of a stuffed goal-line dive for a TD deepened the pain of the denial of six points. Giant’s futility heightened the importance of our fantasy teams. It was a lot of football but we had fun.
Outside of football Sunday, my kids don’t have a lot to say. Few teenage kids are chatty with their parents. Thankfully, my guys aren’t rude or withdrawn. They’re just teenagers and generally teenagers live in their own world. I think psychologists explain it as their quest for independence or something to that effect.
Laconic
My high school English teacher confirmed to me I didn’t have much to say to my parents. He once recounted to me a conversation he had with my dad about my lackluster performance in his class. Mr. Piazza was surprised my dad knew so little about what was going on in his class. He asked my dad, “Do you speak with your son, Mr. Brown?” My dad replied, “Do you have a sixteen year old son?” As Mr. Piazza shared the story with me he chuckled, “Now that I have a sixteen year old son your dad’s comment is even more on point. Fortunately, I have been forewarned.
Sometimes I’ll send my boys a text of a cool picture or meme or something to spur conversation. A day or two eventually goes by and I have to ask, “Hey did you guys see that picture I sent you? They’ll immediately go to their phones to look at my message. “Oh, whoa!”, they inevitably reply. “Damn, Don’t you read your texts?” “Dad, I get my messages on Snapchat”. I guess texting has been around for more than thirty years. No wonder they don’t use it.
Communication would be nonexistent on their trips to sporting events unless I took the initiative to check in. Talk about a realization of independence. The only reason they respond to these messages is because I threaten to rehome the dog if they didn’t. I know they don’t take me seriously me but it works anyway.
Go to the Video
My favorite message to send when they are on a trip for a game is an inspirational sports movie clip. I’ve made the boys sit through Rocky I, II & III so something from this series is a staple. Adrian lecturing Rocky on the beach in Los Angeles about how they have “everything but the truth” is one of my favorite scenes. Eric Liddell from Chariots of Fire winning the 400M in the 1924 Olympics is enough to inspire anyone to push through the finish line.
Do these clips pump them up? I’d like to think they put them in touch with the emotions they feel before a competition. I doubt they go viral amongst their friends. In any event, a good laugh is always shared when I say in my best Rocky Balboa voice, “For the first time in my life I’m afraid.” What could be a better way to tell someone to confront their fears?
Non-sports movies have also been used to strike a nerve in the boys. They know Latin from the Dead Poet’s Society Carpe Diem scene. My favorite scene I shared with my youngest son was from Stir Crazy when Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor went to jail.
The Truth
I’m not a movie expert but I have to believe Richard Pryor was the first actor to bring a comic twist to the prison genre. Eddie Murphy copied this move in Trading Places. Kevin Hart made Get Hard which is virtually an entire movie based on Pryor’s iconic jail scene in Stir Crazy.
It crossed my mind to be more current and send a scene from Get Hard but Richard Pryor is timeless. Plus, he perfectly communicated the message my son needed to hear.
My son was on his way to Medellin, Colombia. His soccer team handedly dealt with the competition they faced in the United States so his club sent them to be “stretched” by tougher competition. It was time to step it up and Richard Pryor couldn’t have given a better pep talk.
Enough said, I don’t follow Richard Pryor.
In conclusion, keep working to connect with the kids. I’ll never forget a friend who sadly told me about the loneliness she felt because her mother didn’t make her check in with her during her weekend outings while in high school. Her mom was an alcoholic. She couldn’t be bothered with the whereabouts of her daughter on Saturday night. Her mother’s neglect will haunt her forever.